“A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.”

True friends are one of the greatest blessings on this earth, partially because they are so rare. In order to be a good friend to someone, you have to open up to them. This is a serious problem in men, especially. Men often enjoy helping others, but they rarely open themselves up and show their emotional or physical suffering. We men do not open ourselves up about our weaknesses to other Christian men because we fear their judgment. Also, we do not want to bring up our weakness because we hate these aspects of ourselves and are ashamed.

While embarrassment and shame can be good motivators to change, these often cripple us. Therefore, our reasons for closing ourselves off from other men are greatly and tragically ironic.  We fear this judgment from other men – other men who struggle with the same things we do and may even be worse off than we are. We do not want to feel the embarrassment of others looking at our weakness, but this just means we will continue to be weak. I could go on about how many advantages there are to mutually sharing your struggles with one or two other men, but I will leave it at this.

I am writing this as I look forward to the men’s retreat, which, if you are reading this, has already happened.  I hope that the weekend is one of greater intimacy and we can grow to become friends and brothers who will undergo adversity together.